• Carolyn Kazmierczak

A Silent Heart

We are all familiar with the cruel and vicious words hurled at Jesus as He was brought before those who would eventually find Him guilty of the so called crime of blasphemy. He could have confronted His accusers with their own sin but He didn’t. Instead He was silent.

“Now when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceedingly glad, for he had desired for a long time to see Him, because he had heard many things about Him, and he hoped to see some miracles done by Him. Then he questioned Him with many words, but He answered him nothing.” (see Luke 23:8-9).

Jesus did not perform miracles or explanations on demand. But as for me, my first thoughts are to speak up – to defend myself. I want to try and explain myself and maybe even my sins. Surely God will pass judgement on those who have hurt me. After all His Word tells us that vengeance is His (see Romans 12:19). But how many times has this verse been misunderstood or quoted out of context?

Quite often when we feel hurt or mistreated by others, we trust that God will avenge us because we belong to Him. The person who hurt us couldn’t possibly be deserving of His mercy. Or could he? And what about our mercy? Is the one hurling insults toward

us deserving of our mercy? Romans 12:14 says, “Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse.”

I’ve asked myself if I’ve ever been guilty of the very thing I’ve accused others of. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. Knowing and believing this does not mean that we should just accept that we are a sinner saved by grace, but rather we must increase in our faith, knowledge and understanding of who Christ Jesus is. It’s important to know Him on a much deeper and more profound level, so that we will be able to keep silent when we are faced with those situations that would serve us best to stay silent in obedience to Christ.

While I desire to be godly and pleasing to a holy and sovereign God who so graciously saved me from sin, I still sin – even when I don’t want to. Paul explains this so well in Romans 7: 15-18a, “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice, but what I hate, that I do. If then I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells”.

When I began to realize and understand that I’ve been just as guilty as those who’ve wronged me, Jesus reminds me that my mind can become renewed through His holy Word.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (see Romans 12:2).

The more my life and mind is transformed by God, the more those hurled insults, negative comments and hurtful remarks no longer consume me. I’ve learned not to lose hope or to become anxious, because a holy and merciful God lives in my heart. And the more I’ve become devoted to Him, the more silent I am when I want to do and say those things that I should not.

As I learn and grow in my faith in Christ, I’ve discovered that we as Christians will never have the same degree of perfection that is in Him. But I do know that one day, we will be like Him.

“Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is” (see I John 3:2).

I long for the day I will be like Jesus. But for now, He has called me to be obedient so that I may extend His love, mercy and grace to others. Sometimes that means I must choose to be silent so that His glory may be revealed in all circumstances of my life.

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